If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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