You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
soo... how was my night?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
