I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
