2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
