I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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