When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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