Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
