I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize