Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Just pee around me
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
