Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
You dont lie about slip and slides
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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