oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Did I show you my penis last night?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
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