sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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