:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
