He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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