I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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