I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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