WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
