Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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