I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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