hotel room ftw
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
