I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
