If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
he wants to bone in the snuggie
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
