Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
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