4 words: hood of his car
People with herpes should wear stickers.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Randomize
