I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
