every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
