I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize