You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
they're like a gay fantastic four
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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