i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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