That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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