Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
