Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
