Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Randomize
