you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
two words...techno handjob
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Randomize
