PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i was born a porn star she said
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Dicks are not precious.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
