Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Floor bacon is actually really good
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
