she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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