Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Actions speak louder than pants.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
