I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
