walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
