Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
this hospital has no fireball
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Dick very happy bro
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