I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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