pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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