I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
