Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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