Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
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