i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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