if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
