Someone shit on the floor
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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