the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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