goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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