im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
