Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize