4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
