Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Redeem this text for a blowjob
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize