he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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