You really coming over, don't trick.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Randomize
