We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize