come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
