i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize