Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
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