we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
