i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
