i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Randomize
