my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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