Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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