i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
