We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
