All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
