So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
