I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
