I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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