My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
