i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
